Strong title, but it is a phrase our exchange student from Denmark used to invoke often, and it was the theme to a couple of things I experienced this weekend. Both of them occurred late Friday.
Took the children and Bevie to a local restaurant to get them some pizza, soup, salad, pasta stuff for dinner since I needed to get ready for a black tie OR Scottish kilt dinner hosted by an investment bank. Al was flying in to join me, but running late. Rain started to pour. We scurried into the restaurant, and the very young, kind bartender invited us to sit and encouraged me to order us drinks while we waited for our take out food.
"Can I get them a soda?" he asked me.
"Nah, better not, but I'll have a sparkling water." I said.
He brought two highball glasses of water for the children and put mine in a nice wine glass with a squeeze of lime.
Bev took Paige and Graham to the bath supply store just down the shopping strip while I sat with Evie.
While we were cooing and giggling and she was practicing taking sips, several people walked up to me to admire her and/or to comment on how nice it was to see a mother relaxing with her child. The bartender and I had a conversation about how lucky I was that it was allowed in Texas, and I told him about a time when I was laid over in Denver when the bartender scolded me for walking up to the bar with children; this is apparently against the law there.
Next thing I know, the manager leans over to me from behind the long bar and says, "I just want you to know that there is a woman who is very upset that you are sitting here with your infant."
Huh?
Turns out, the thing she's most upset about is my encouraging my child to drink from a wine glass, and she has berated the manager for allowing me to do so, saying it is disgusting.
"I'm going to speak with my supervisor, but I think you are fine." Said the manager, clearly shaken, bug-eyed and unsure that what he was saying was true.
Time progressed and everyone got more uneasy. I was feeling a combination of indignancy and principal's-office-queasy. Now I was informed that the woman was outside the door calling CPS (yes, Child Protective Services) on me.
I knew/know I was doing nothing wrong, and I didn't feel like making a scene, so we got our food and left. I thought of what some of my more boisterous friends might do (call the news, call friends for a water sip-in, etc) But I just thought, stupid woman, find something else on which to focus your energies. Rapists, murderers, child abusers. Not a mother ordering food for her children and drinking WATER with one of them.
After this rigamorole, I had a few minutes to get dressed for the event, and Al was running even later, unbeknownst to me. I took a car service to the dinner with a friend who was also attending, and we arrive shortly before dinner.
As everyone settled into their seats, the MC announced we should stand for the anthems of both the United States and Scotland. Three glorious tenors stood at mics at the back of the room on a stage. The flags were on the front stage where the MC's podium was. Where did everyone look as our anthem played? The singers. AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR(gameshow buzzer sound)
So, there I stood, my back to the singers, hand over my heart, with hundreds of bankers, business leaders and their spouses looking at me curiously. I just could not go with the flow and turn my back to the Stars and Stripes during the National Anthem, just couldn't! I think I would have felt more comfortable standing on my front porch in my underwear it was so awkward. And the empty chair next to me (Al still en route returning from a daytrip to NYC) did nothing to make me feel more at ease.
Boy, was it my night to go against the grain or what?!?!? It ended up being a fantastic evening with a lot of my dad's kind of humor -- a toast to the Lassies by a banker from Manchester who sounded just like our relatives across the pond.
Would you have done anything differently from the way I handled these two scenarios?
6 comments:
Nope .... do you think that stupid woman actually thought that you were letting Evie sip wine???? Un-bloody-believable some people aren't they? Also, completely with you on the national anthem thing, did they really expect people to just look at the tenors? Anyway, glad you enjoyed the night eventually, did you tell Al about it? what did he say? XXX
Wow, I can't believe the gall of some people. She had nothing better to do? I think you did the right thing but I probably would've had to say something to her...not sure what but SOMETHING.
And I'm with you on the National Anthem. I find it SO disrespectful when people don't turn to the flag. Kudos to you!
For the anthem, I probably would have pointed out to people looking at me where the flag was!
That woman in the restaurant reminds me of a woman Cinda & I encountered on one of my visits to Hawaii. We were at a luau and arrived a little late. I explained to the woman next to me that we had to get the kids down first. She immediately went into a tirade, telling me I was MUCH too young to already have kids, blah, blah, blah. When she finally took a breath, I explained they were my cousins. That shut her up.
Did you read the entry Joey wrote about the woman who stopped her at Starbucks and gave her a parenting lesson? That's what your first story reminds me of.
As for the wine-glass incident...it makes me wonder what that lady would have done at Jimmy or Becky's first communion when dozens of 8 year olds sipped real wine (transfigured) from the same glass!! We might have needed to call EMS for her!:)
You handled it perfectly...it would eat at me for days...I hope it is true that you were able to blow it off completely...
As for the flag - once again, perfect behavior.
Oh, how I despise it when strangers find it to be their job to "teach" parenting skills! I would have wanted to say something, but know I wouldn't have. CPS??? Come on! And as for the flag -- good for you for going against the flow!
Josie
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