The Mid-Point of Early Childhood

We have always anticipated that our Paige would be a tough nut. She came into the world that way -- nose up, not tucked down -- a tough entrance really since the head isn't prepared to come out at that angle. Now that she is on the cusp of four, we are seeing the preview of adolescence so many friends have told us would come at this age.

That is not to say that it's all bad. She is precocious (and can even sing or say that word, as in "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious") She can now finish my sentences, has numerous books memorized, loves to recount past experiences and dream up places she wants to vacation. Most of the time, she can put together a wonderful ensemble and dress herself with no help. She plays nicely and tidies up. She is orderly and, unprompted, even replaced the toilet paper roll after using the last square on Wednesday!

However, lately she has definitely crossed into new territory. At night, she has eloborate and frightening dreams that cause her to sweat until she is in a puddle under her comforter, wimpering for Mommy. Her sleep patterns are disrupted and at least once a week, she wakes up her brother and her mom far too early, resulting in a grumpy trio with little patience and fewer coping skills.

At school she is venturing into new areas on the playground and trying out new friends. Her teacher has given me insights to this, and has mentioned that the new friends are more determined, independent, stronger personalities (might the unedited words of a non-teacher suggest that these are the Mean Girls of Preschool?) At home, Paige tells me they yell at her, discuss who are their "best friends" and tell her "no!" a lot. But she wants to be friends with everyone, she explains. Oh, what a preview to the pains of middle school. I remember trying to be -- and for the most part succeeding -- friends with the cheerleaders and the wavers (now goths I think they call them).

The other day on the playground something happened that has bothered her. According to the P&G version, they were "washing" the car and were scolded for being too rough with the playground equipment, all four participants were sent to the thinking bench, even though it was one child (again, in their minds and according to their account) who broke a part of the car.

School work is new -- with the new year they introduced new puzzles and work that is more challenging for Paige. She gets a high amount of satisfaction from doing work well. She was comfortable with the old, known activities, so these new ones are presenting new opportunities for frustration.

Paige's personality is a lot like mine. We are non-violent people, but if cornered, caged or unheard, we lash out in frustration. We have a high sense of justice, so unfair blame causes particular fury. We are fiercely loving, loyal and obedient. But we are equally independent. I was a rebel, but not an outlaw. I wanted to make my own path, and I know she will too. I think I'm uniquely prepared to parent her because we are so similar.

That doesn't make it easy, though! She is starting to draw boundaries, asking Mom and Dad to stop doing things that bother her with such stoic emphasis that you fear non-compliance will cause a serious rift for life. She rails against nicknames, being chased, and will argue with her brother for saying something she doesn't like or getting lyrics out of order. She'll holler the lyrics from the beginning of the tune correctly and if he chimes in, it might cause beet-red faced wrath, an extended arm and "NO no no Graham!". And he has mastered an impish act that drives her insane, as only a brother can!

Certainly the world shouldn't revolve around her, and I refuse to have diva behavior. Most of the time, if met with imagination and creativity by me, we can overcome or circumvent her issues. But sometimes I'm tired, hungry and frustrated too. Those are the moments when I forget not to engage in the battles, I lose my calm and it's not so pretty.